forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it's like iHOP with fire
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
