I hope mine doesn't look like that
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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