"it" just moved
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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