I want to stick my p in your. b.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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