My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
