Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
