The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
