Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
