dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
