Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
