were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
