he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
