Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
