please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
