It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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