I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
