I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
