i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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