i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
