Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
