this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
