Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was so not down for the gang bang
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
