I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
