What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
