State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
