I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
