you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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