ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
