:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
