I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
