I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
