Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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