just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
