You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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