Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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