he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
