Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
