And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
