Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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