they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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