if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
