I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
