No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
