Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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