Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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