This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
