i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
