Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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