The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
