Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
