so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
