The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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