you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
